Substance Abuse

And here we are in this brave world.
I crave substance. I won't lie, I crave it like nothing else I can fathom. It is in my mind, wrapped around my tongue so that it comes out when I speak. I look for other users - I want to know it, see it, and get it into my veins - I want to bleed substance. More than just a fix, I need to find the source - the place where it is born and dies all in the same moment.
We were tigers when we were born. Courage was in our hearts - that day we didn't know the emptiness of fake smiles or fake laughs or fake thoughts. I am so tired of fake smiles.
When I do stand and feel solid? When do I no longer hide in the shadows of delicate things?

Counterfeit are the truths of men - illusions of substance, with specs of real worth mixed in. Let them go, let them go, let them go.
Solid true substance - We are all searching for it. We are just following the wrong roads. We find a base that feels strong.. but it doesn't sustain.
my car, my clothes, my prestige, my wealth, my knowledge, my strength, my lovers, my friends, my body, my very life itself... they all fall short. Substance is outside of me and my conditions. It will not die with me, and it was here before I arrived. How can I put my hope in anything else? How can I believe that fading, delicate baggage will make me better? It is beautiful to be free.
I am dying.. (unavoidably) - what then, can possibly make me better? :) haha I would rather pursue something larger, grander and more long lived that my own fleeting moment.
What I desire is outside of time, and outside of persuasion. The motion of existence itself, give that to me. Strip me naked and paint it on my body, so that when people see me and hear me and touch me.. they know that what I say is real, that what I am is not a lie.
Lies are the end of power.
Truth is the beginning.



(Andrew Tipton)