Waiting

Hands crossed, eyes closed, forgetting everything about everything - finding the now.
Wondering how the silence of an afternoon feels - it comes like sunshine through rain. Autumn is coming, even as I wait - without my help, beyond my reach. The edges of every leaf outside this nest are outlined in the slightest yellow. I wait for autumn even as it.. is ... already here.
Perhaps waiting is not so much about anticipation of what will be enjoyed, and is so much more the action of enjoying now anticipations, expectations, dreams, and just being still for a time.
Dare I roam and move across the spaces of my own reason? Shadows and the impossibility of love - all is fading in the fading place. Children kick in the inside of their mothers' wombs, ready for alive - now; waiting is only a moment.
Will you jump,
or will you fly?
will you wander...
will you be direct?
Will the wait be like sunrise - the imperceptible break into darkness without start.
Or will it be sudden - love like the pow of the gun, the firecracker, the scream that has an exact starting place.
Will you wait long?
Will you wait hardly at all?
Many things I have missed in this life, have not felt as fully, as deeply, have not tasted as richly, have not heard completely... I did not know it until later that that wonderful or significant thing was what I was waiting for...
wait well... heart of mine...
expect to find as you wait.
Now.