Take What You Want

I had butterflies in my stomach last night. The kind you get when you are fixing to barrel down a mountain on a bike, or jump out of an airplane, or kayak through a raging river. I love butterflies in my stomach, they mean I'm pursuing what I want.

What do I want?
That is the question I should probably answer first.
Maybe even, "What is want?".
Is this some sort of passing desire, or perhaps something greater?
I have been giving this idea a lot of though since yesterday.

I cannot truly say what I want yet.
That sounds tragic and shallow I know. But it is not!
I would argue, that if I let myself become specific with what I want, if I give it an attainable position in life, then what I want is never permanent; instead it becomes a fleeting anticipation, projected upon my delicate existence.
If I want a boat, I can get it - then what? If I want a girl, I can get her too - then what? If I want 1 million dollars, I can get it - then what? What takes the place of a physical object once it is acquired?
What I want out of life must be solid, unwavering and beautiful - always.
I shouldn't be able to put a name on it, or place it in a convenient box or cage. I shouldn't be able to own what I want, or to harness it, or to use it - it should be bigger, more powerful, and greater than what I am! It should be an ideal that shapes life entirely / a movement: freedom, wisdom, peace, motion. These are concepts that are not temporary delusions, they are guides to a never-ending path - a path that winds its way through creation, through love, through loss, through riches, through poverty, through jungles, through cities.. through everything that makes life stronger.

Do I want a boat? Yes. Do I want adventure? Yes! Do I want a beautiful girl to love? Yes. Do I want to surf and run and swim in ocean waves? Yes. But I want peace, motion, wisdom, freedom more than those things by themselves. I believe everything I desire will become part of my path, if it is part of this larger pursuit.

And so.. I love butterflies in my stomach, because when I am in the flow, when I am wrapped in the ideals that I am living for - the butterflies come! It is absolute excitement that consumes me, knowing that I can step into what I desire, because it is part of something much greater!

(to Andrew) Today is the most beautiful day of your life. You will never be younger than you are right now. Take that, and take what you want!


(Andrew Tipton)