Monday, December 29, 2014
People are listening..
even when we don't think they are.. and even when they don't think they are. We are hearing each other. The way in which we choose to talk.. the emotion and energy we exude.. is not just filling our ears for the moment.. its abiding, even after the conversation ends.
We may think we are speaking casually, but this is an illusion.
realizing that those words don't just DISAPPEAR, they are going places, affecting things in profound ways.
Its like we are speaking this separate, secret language.. a language that reaches beyond the surface level.. into the depths of us. Its a language that is not temporary.. but rather filling the spaces behind us, and in front of us.
I am under the impression that the thoughts and language that we choose.. are of utmost importance.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
"To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts."
(WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?)
I have recently been re-considering my idea of partnership, or a friendship for that matter - readdressing the parameters of how men interact with each other... or for that matter the relationships of men and women.. of who I allow into my own inner circle.
Friendship is becoming this very intimate and powerful device for me.. I am beginning to see its true potential and its ultimate purpose. A purpose that reaches beyond the clichés of casual masculine interaction. And the more I consider it.. the more I am drawn to this idea of confrontation.. of challenge and a reciprocation of power. This necessary masculine interaction with something (or someone) whose purpose is to draw muchness out of me. A being who resonates with the desire for my betterment, my strength and power.
Even if that brings with it conflict... and discomfort.
Think about it... most of our male interactions are based on making friends with those guys who make us feel "good" about ourselves. We hang out with other men, because they reciprocate our energy towards life. This is an excellent criteria.. but it should not be the only criteria. This type of interaction keeps us content and temporarily satisfied.. but it does not address our deepest masculine longing to "evolve in muchness". If interaction with our friends is always warm and safe.. then they/we are not truly serving our fullest purpose: to sharpen each other.
To elevate the quality of each other.. to elevate the quality of our pursuits.
As men, we should come to a point where we ask ourselves..
"Who do I want to become as a man?"
In terms of our ethics, our morality, our power, our attitude, our belief.. We should define it.. make it known and hold ourselves to it. That definition should begin to affect the way we personally live out our life. But, beyond our personal agreement with our masculinity.. we should begin applying our desire to our friendships!
Building "allies" that reflect our intention... and "allies" that hold us to the agreement that we have made with our self.
I see that the role of a "friend" is to draw out MUCHNESS.
It is the role of the "ally" to make me uphold the agreement that I have made with myself... this personal agreement to pursue goodness.
A true ally / friend does not wish us to fail.. or seek our destruction.. but rather presses us to uphold our own power - to become that thing that we ourselves are seeking.
This is such an awesome metaphor for what is possible in our masculine relationships!
I desire this attitude to permeate my idea of friendship -
"....Affecting the quality of the day." that is such an eloquent statement from Thoreau.. I stumbled across it yesterday.. and it tied this thought together..
I want FRIENDS / ALLIES that desire that... men that want to "affect the quality of the day"... and in doing so, want to affect the quality of themselves... and subsequently, the quality of ME!
As we embrace our evolution, we should embrace also this idea of an ALLY.
To become men who challenge our friends to uphold their agreements with life..
offering our attention, and our respect, and our confrontation.. because those are all elements that we desire for ourselves.
This belief is uncomfortable..
it is not an easy thing to be challenged to step into our greatness... or to be the one to challenge another person. It would be easier to just "live and let live".. But if we are to move forward, with our freedom, and our MUCHNESS.. I see this as the next step into friendship. Not taken lightly.. and not clasped with self-righteousness.. but simply motivated by our inner, and ultimate desire to see ourselves and our brothers reach new heights.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
If you could list your favorite things,
and the worst
of what you're made of,
the certainty of perfection
and the death of the soul,
There was a day we spent driving to Big Sur together,
you spoke to me in French,
and told me I must visit Leon,
and we ate pomegranates at sunset,
I remember kissing you in the shower
of that hostel
on Geary Street,
I snuck inside and found your room,
we spent the night together,
looking into each others eyes,
and I found solace,
I listened to the taxis and the madness outside our window,
and I fell in love with that place,
with you pressed against me,
and how we drank champagne at breakfast,
they asked us to leave,
and we said, "Fuck you." - and we left.
Laughing, arm in arm,
Watching the sailboats race,
watching the fog come sweeping through the harbor,
walking, silently through the city at sunset,
I remember camping beside the ocean with you,
we set up our tent in the dark,
but moon was enough light for us,
standing side-by-side at the bluegrass festival,
I took off my shirt, and you kicked off your boots,
and we stood there in the midst of everyone,
and you leaned against me,
and I felt everything in that moment - your anguish, and mine,
your hunger, and mine
your affection, and the sliver of life that was left
in me, grow
life is fragile, and intricate, and bewildering
I have never felt more alive,
than those few days,
death was so close,
at the same time,
life & liberty.
This time last year