There are points in my life, when I am aware of over analyzing life. I step back, breathe, and suddenly remember that all there is to do, is live well.
Half of my battle to maintain freedom, is a fight against myself. My own emotions, my own hesitation drags at me, often more than any other source. Why? Why should I be at odds with myself? If there is any neccessity in the perpetual flow of motion, its that you are at peace with existence; at peace with your own mind. Freedom only takes root, when you start to become liberated from yourself. The thickest walls, it seems, are all in my head.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The feel of rock beneath your fingertips. Closer to earth, literally on it, gripping it, a part of it. Rock climbers are so excited about what they do, because deep down maybe they realize the intensity of what they love.
I love the pain that your hands feel after hanging on for a few climbs - I love the way your fingers scream in agony, the way my shoulders wince, there is pain.. real brutal pain involved - and it makes me smile.
I don't get to enjoy pain enough. I forget what it feels like sometimes - in our comfy world we shy away from it, we protect ourselves at all costs. Our blood only scares us, partly because we're so out of touch with what we really are - human and vunerable. I enjoy the pain from the rocks.. because its a reality check, it makes me remember my mortality, my energy, and my body. Deep down, I need that.. we all need that. Bare, physical, elemental existence - climbing illuminates it.
Friday, February 22, 2008
The waves, that is why I surf. There is something supernatural about surfing. Maybe its because you are in the water, a part of it, the rythm of the waves starts to become a part of you. When I'm alone on my board, I am closer to my thoughts; closer to knowing myself, closer to life, closer to death. Away from everything, drifting, you find yourself, you ride the wave, and then quickly head back out to find that place (in your thoughts) once more.
There are few things that touch me more than the ability to be free, to live unburdened by life or death. There is a motion that all of us art a part of, a complex universal movement that is directly affecting us. Some choose to resist, some refuse to believe, I refuse to live without being absolutely consumed in the flow.