I love everything about her room.. it is a perfect metaphor of the human mind.. the window letting in the new world.. the books and statues our memories and stories past. I love the deep reds in the rugs on the floor.. I love the plant pressing its leaves against the glass.. I love the mysteriousness and at the same time the openness.. its not what you see that gives this room complexity; its the poetry tucked away between smokey pages, and the dreams during a rainstorm that were shared here..
If I were to fall in love with a girl.. she would resemble this room.
I consider our ability to anticipate the future one of the most powerful, and yet debilitating human conditions.
We perceive the world through eyes that only know a "present" state of being.. we do not see reality as it will be, or ourselves as WE will be in the future. Our decisions and perceptions are hindered by the immediate moment.
I have noticed this in my own life - watching myself create visions of the future that are centered on an impermanent base. Life changes.. unpredictably, outlandishly, mysteriously - that is the motion of the universe.
I think that we can use that knowledge to our advantage! Using the ambiguity of life to actually open up possibilities in our mind. Imagine having a vision for life but being currently incapable of implementing it. Based on our condition of "present anticipation" we would see that vision as merely a fantasy because it does not align with our potential in the moment.
I believe that many times we do not pursue an inspiration simply because we assume it is not possible.. based on our limited view of reality. We take our current self (including impermanent limitations) and radiate it outwards into the future.. that future is built on those conditions and limitations of "NOW". When we do this, we are not viewing a real future.. but one that has artificial boundaries.
Here is where that can change. We have the opportunity to perceive an unlimited future reality. This is a reality that falls outside of our current limitations. If we understand that the future will not be merely a reflection of our "present" state.. then anything is possible! We accept the reality of change, knowing that life will gravitate in unforeseen directions.. and we embrace it! Truthfully, anything could happen. This is the idea of an unlimited future reality, that we are unencumbered in our thinking and pursuits. We do not discount our selves or our possibilities. There are so many factors that we cannot see yet, so many people, events and motions that will shape our future. We do not have to attempt to release expectation.. but we also don't have to be entrenched in a false sense of predictability.
Sitting under the stars, breathing heavy and sipping Merlot straight from the bottle.. the past few weeks finally caught up to me. I slouched back into the wet grass, letting the weight and the emotions of the month finally reach my lungs. I replayed images through my mind of the faces and the moments.. I saw the moss covered trees of Savannah and the perfectly trimmed lawns of Forsyth park, felt the wonderful sensation of diving into the moon-lit waves of the Gulf, heard beautiful voice of my nephew as he said my name for the first time, and watched the last difficult breaths of my grandfather - inhale... exhale. It takes effort, but I am always glad when I pause and filter back through life in my mind. I think often we keep memories and emotions boxed up inside without directly addressing them or giving ourselves permission to embrace or release their energy. Experiences build up.. we move on... but there is no closure. Filtering gives me closure.. it enables me to relive an experience without being limited by the emotion of that "moment". I feel like I'm filtering out the true colors of a scene.. my body feels better for it.
..and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.