I feel in a constant state of visceral inclination.
I feel enraged, and yet buried beneath intense calmness.
I feel engulfed and devoured,
This afternoon, I picked up my camera and climbed out of a window onto my roof in the pouring rain.. and the wind from enormous black storm-clouds blew my long hair in all directions. My eyes squinted as gusts of wind whipped me and howled around me. Cool winds and water spraying through the sky onto my body. Drips on my lips.. and into my mouth. Ohhh!!! it was so genuine.. unrehearsed, uncalculated. The storm came at sunset, and took the place of the sunset. It was marvelous to behold.
We are taught to "close the windows"... keep out the storms, stay dry... and when our instincts say, "open the window and climb out into the rain"... our reasonable self tries to deny that sort of thing! It says, hell no!! Listen we are in need of this sort of self that defies practicality and rational justification.. not for the sake of social defiance.. but for the sake of remaining hungry and true.. its that genuine self that is seeking out what improves our souls. Maybe this genuine-self has us climbing out onto a roof in the rain... maybe not.. Maybe it has us doing something completely predictable and ordinary at times! But we've got so much in store for us if we'll be attentive to its longing and direction. Genuine action is superior to any other action.. you can feel it vibrate every cell and vessel. The actions we are capable of, when we leap out of our minds and into our genuineness.. are tremendous.