What I see from here

this is a place that has no place in my soul,
you say I'm old,
but its not true,
its not my wrinkles that define me, its the way I move.
and its the motion of my mind that captures peace,
its the way I breathe,
and its the way I eat.
and its the way I stand for whats right, and at night
where I go, to sleep when its cold,
I know its freezing outside,
but I gracefully decided
not to take my life so comfortably,
or feel so serene,
ninety-nine percent of the time its me,
and what I want or need,
so I stop a minute to bleed, with the blood comes free,
dumb, I might be,
but I don't concern myself with what you think of my shirt
or my overall net worth,
there is more to me than that,
and I constantly regret living less than I can
and less than I am,
now I have no fear and no preoccupation
no unfounded reason, no bullshit hesitation
to wear on my chest,
and at my very best I'm alive and awake,
make no mistake
its what I live to do,
in the process we forgot the heart of truth:
that life is absolutely pure,
nothing to ask for, nothing more I could desire
I want the waves
I want the flames
I want the fire,
Its not enough to behave, I will aspire to be bad
badly in love with peace,
in every crease
of existence, on every tier
infatuated with the moment so undeniably near,
so take the blinders off your eyes first,
see yourself, your funeral, see your own birth,
its the feeling that I get when I traverse earth,
its warmth of summer, naked with my clothes off,
its the glory of the story that is playing in my own soft
core imagination,
this is motion, my personal revelation
this is definitely me:
Live well, be strong, grow wild
you are completely free.


(Andrew Tipton)

Growl

shades of color drift forgotten between shades of dull gray,
colorless, in the rain as it splashes across a beautiful girl's face.
What lies beneath the sweetness of lips?
What truths of beauty lurk behind dark eyes?
The silver swirling madness of waves at night,
the tremble of a kiss, the first, bathed in shimmering,
the secret places that we venture in our purest dreams,
mountains towering above forests, the beaches of an distant island,
my wild jungle fortress - where we are forever young.
I have heard reasons for such thoughts,
the ambition of affection,
that perpetual affliction.
How much do humans suffer at the hands of love and at the feet happiness?
Begging for their own.
Better to live and move and venture into danger?
Better to be wild, than tamed?
Better to be never be known, and to never know?
Her fingers fit my fingers perfectly; organically.
we dance around flames.
I am without words,
with knowledge and without wisdom.
I have found that rawness is not only in stones or wind,
it is in the movement of loveliness.
perfect, absolute, motion.



(Andrew Tipton)

MILK

I leave in 42 days.
An adventure that will shape my entire existence.

I have not left yet.
I have reached a point in life, where the rhythm of who I am has begun to beat in tune with the rhythm of truth.
The ideas that were "just ideas" have started to become real; they have started to etch themselves into the fabric of my motions. I am not afraid.


The truth and freedom of life is dangling, precious and sweet before my eyes: a woman's perfect bare breast, the breast of a mother, the breast of a lover, the breast of an intimate friend. Entirely sexual, entirely nourishing, entirely free and real and strong.
Its milk is raw, pure, warm: It is the milk we were born to drink.
We wrap our lips around the nipples of life, and drink like little children - starving, dying children. Groping, sucking and drinking without hesitation. We have existed for all of time. We are the consciousness of a million living beings - untamed. There is nothing better than the milk of a mother.
This life is not the sedated, muted, confusion that we have been handed, it is erotic and beautiful; every moment the greatest moment we shall ever endure.
Sensual. Wild. Brilliant. Absolutely Alive.

There is no price that you can put on a single sunset. you cannot buy sunlight. You cannot own the motion of a waterfall. You cannot cage the wind. Breathe; tomorrow you will be a tiger again.



(Andrew Tipton)

Re-Introduction

Hello,
Let me re-introduce myself.

My name is Andrew.
I am 25 years old.
I am an Aries.
I am human.

I am no longer living in a cage.
I do not need you.
I do not need fear.
I do not live a lie.
I am free.
I am courage.
I am peace.
I am fierceness.
I am content.

I despise my own ignorance.
I embrace motion.
I acknowledge truth.
I know little.
I am hungry always.

I recognize beauty.
I resist comfort.
I respond to color.

I want to see you as you.
To see you as myself.
To touch your skin and look into your eyes and see my own thoughts.
I want to hear your whispers in my ears, moments only we share.
I crave the sweat that drips from your body, that shimmers in a summer night.
I want to bathe in waterfalls with you - to swim under the stars in the night ocean with you - to dance between the flames of a fire with you - to run my fingertips along your face, and feel your lips tremble against my scars.
This is my freedom, to know you. To know you absolutely. Without shadow or blur.
To be wild with you.
Like lions roaming jungles.
We don't fear each other, because we are one another - the same earth, the same children, the same energy and motion and birth; the same beauty and the same flickering fleeting gasp of splendor.

Take What You Want

I had butterflies in my stomach last night. The kind you get when you are fixing to barrel down a mountain on a bike, or jump out of an airplane, or kayak through a raging river. I love butterflies in my stomach, they mean I'm pursuing what I want.

What do I want?
That is the question I should probably answer first.
Maybe even, "What is want?".
Is this some sort of passing desire, or perhaps something greater?
I have been giving this idea a lot of though since yesterday.

I cannot truly say what I want yet.
That sounds tragic and shallow I know. But it is not!
I would argue, that if I let myself become specific with what I want, if I give it an attainable position in life, then what I want is never permanent; instead it becomes a fleeting anticipation, projected upon my delicate existence.
If I want a boat, I can get it - then what? If I want a girl, I can get her too - then what? If I want 1 million dollars, I can get it - then what? What takes the place of a physical object once it is acquired?
What I want out of life must be solid, unwavering and beautiful - always.
I shouldn't be able to put a name on it, or place it in a convenient box or cage. I shouldn't be able to own what I want, or to harness it, or to use it - it should be bigger, more powerful, and greater than what I am! It should be an ideal that shapes life entirely / a movement: freedom, wisdom, peace, motion. These are concepts that are not temporary delusions, they are guides to a never-ending path - a path that winds its way through creation, through love, through loss, through riches, through poverty, through jungles, through cities.. through everything that makes life stronger.

Do I want a boat? Yes. Do I want adventure? Yes! Do I want a beautiful girl to love? Yes. Do I want to surf and run and swim in ocean waves? Yes. But I want peace, motion, wisdom, freedom more than those things by themselves. I believe everything I desire will become part of my path, if it is part of this larger pursuit.

And so.. I love butterflies in my stomach, because when I am in the flow, when I am wrapped in the ideals that I am living for - the butterflies come! It is absolute excitement that consumes me, knowing that I can step into what I desire, because it is part of something much greater!

(to Andrew) Today is the most beautiful day of your life. You will never be younger than you are right now. Take that, and take what you want!


(Andrew Tipton)

Hungry

I swore off eating meat for 10 days.
Not a long period of time, but considering I find meat entirely delicious - it was tough.
It is strange, that when you aren't participating in something, you become acutely aware of the people who are; there was meat all around me. At breakfast, I watched sausages and bacon vanish into happy mouths. At lunch, it was chicken strips, and sliced ham. At dinner, my carnivorous friends devoured steaks, ribs and pounds of sauce-slathered BarBQ. I watched from behind my lettuce and tomato sandwich.
I am not a vegetarian. I think the flavor of animals is delicious (occasionally), and when I don't eat meat, I am hungry.
I do have a personal respect for animals, I respect what they are, I respect how they should be treated - the balance in our lives in regards to eating them. I am however, not a vegetarian.

While eating one of my "veggie only" meals, I was confronted by one of my friends, "...So why are you not eating meat?", he questioned. I looked up from my pile of corn and replied slowly (almost trying to convince myself), "Because I believe there is something better". I smiled and took another bite of my corn. He didn't look convinced by my vague answer, and continued to prod, "Better? What is better than BarBQ?", he grinned and sunk his teeth into a juicy slab of ribs.
I stared at him for a moment, almost envious, and then went back to my plate of corn. I let him wallow in self-gratification for the rest of the meal - absolutely enjoying the dead animal lying on his plate. But, I enjoyed my meal too - because I do believe there is something better than BarBQ ribs - something much, much better.
The choice to be hungry.

There is a jaguar inside of my head - he is aching to claw his way free and run wild through jungles and through oceans; hungry. I am in the pursuit of letting him loose.
Also in my head, there is a weak, chubby cow. This cow just wants to graze along through a pasture and be safe. The cow is always full, because he never thinks about his food, he never thinks about much of anything - he is not dangerous, he is not wild, and he is never hungry. I am in the pursuit of starving this cow.

There are moments in life, when we make choices - choices about everything. Where we go, what we say, how fast we walk, how slow we run, what we eat. Most of my choices are based on my immediate personal comfort: what I want right now / what I think I need right now. My limitations become dictated by my concept of choice. What do I choose, and WHY do I choose it? Can I chose something else?
How free am I, if I always choice the tastiest, most delicious menu item?
How free am I, if I always give myself what I decided to need?
How free am I, if I am never hungry? Never tired, never well-lived.

I am suggesting that peace, freedom, power, calmness, truth - these things are sometimes brought about by not giving ourselves what we desire or crave - for no other reason than to strip away that desire. To see desire as its true self, to know it as fleeting, as a ghost that passes without a trace.
Our choices can be greater than choices purely based on "best", "worst", or "good" or "bad" - greater, because we are free to choose anything.

My 10 days without meat showed me something beautiful: I want meat, I want it badly, but I don't always have to have it. There is something better than the momentary satisfaction of eating BarBQ ribs, and that is the pleasure of knowing that I can choose not to as well.
Hungry eyes, hungry claws, hungry stomach, hungry heart - stay hungry.



(Andrew Tipton)