Windows

The end of my breathe.
Beginning of the breathless,
beyond,
below,
between,
there are spaces yet to know
yet to recall tomorrow.
Sleepy eyes. Black skys. hint of red. Earth meets forever.
Stare. Out through rain stained glass.
black sky fall over me,
black sky fall over over.
Tastes of color, bits of unknown - within, without.
Prisoners of the cold - renegades of the sun,
made clear, made known.
When this window last opened, I was smaller
and you were big.
Broken glass, let the wind in,
let the stars in;
Broken glass. Sharp edges.
let your voice in,
let summer in,
inside on me.
Punch. Cut a hole. Let the world in. First time. Mine.
Into my heart, from my mindless chatter. I found beauty -
full of this strangeness called world.
Called sight.

Surfing in January

Some days I wake up before sunrise; lay wide-eyed in the dark, and an electric mandolin plays in the back of my mind - strumming softly chords that make my pulse quicken. As I peer into the sky, a single beam of sunlight cracks through the blackness, clawing its way across the horizon line; first slowly, gently.. then more. Steadily, hungrily, wildly. Rising up like an ancient dragon - flames for breathe, nimbus clouds for scales; breathing life into the grass and the ocean and the wind. earth: blue orange crimson purple swimming through the darkness and the shadows. My heart stops for about seven seconds.. seven eternities; every muscle of me is captivated; my whole self frozen. As the world moves through space, and I have a front row seat. Lying there. Silently - the whole world is silent.
Watching it. Wide-eyed wonderful breathless motion. Its right then, that I remember everything.

I remember we are all dying. And. I want to be alive more than anything in the world. I treasure it. More than anything in the world. I adore my body, my heartbeat, my eyes, my laughter, my failure, my victory. I adore you. I adore today. I adore sandstorms in January; standing barefoot on a white sand beach.. paddling through icey waters.. feeling the day wrap its arms around me. For all I am. We are all dying.

(Andrew Tipton)

The Awareness Paradox

Whenever a section of my life encounters a problem, or breaks down, or doesn't go according to plan, it suddenly owns my complete attention and mental focus. Conversely, when life is working well I rarely take the time to acknowledge my current state of pleasure. Why do negative circumstances draw out my awareness... and why am I oblivious to how good it feels to feel good. There seems to be an awareness paradox. It is a biased way of living.
Why do I only remember how amazing running is... after I sprain my knee? And, why do I only remember how awesome it is to have transportation.. after my van breaks down? Why is it so easy to hate being sick.. but then ignore the feeling of good health? I say that I am aware.. and yet, I let beautiful carefree days go by without ever acknowledging them with a sense of honest gratitude. How pleasurable it feels to have days that I feel good, or days that are the perfect temperature, days that are filled with extraordinary comfort, filled with joy. At every circumstance that goes well.. I should throw my head back and laugh out loud! - Shocked and deeply grateful to experience such a brilliant moment.
Perhaps its that I already expect good things on a regular basis.. do I have an unjust belief that goodness is what I deserve somehow? Why would I believe that? How can I believe that? Maybe I don't notice the f**king amazingness that is surrounding me most days.. because at some point I was told / I decided that it was always supposed to be there. The reality is: its not. I don't deserve any of it.
This week, I have been making time to stop whatever I am doing.. and look around. I've been looking at my hands, my legs, my body, my surroundings, the sun, feeling my skin from the inside out... and just recognizing the pleasure and sensation of the moment. There is unbelievable goodness in most of my days, that gets passed over without a first glance... I want to remember that. I will change that.

(Andrew Tipton)

Its only water

The water lines to our cabin froze.
Amazing how losing a simple convenience will rock your level of awareness.
For a week I have been remembering - remembering how quickly I forget. I feel like a child.. embarrassed by my own naivety. I feel like a child that hasn't realized the abundance of beautiful yet; I'm fascinated with a single raindrop... when there is an entire deep blue ocean right behind me. Its only water. It is only water..
Its the simplest of comforts; those silent, seemingly uncomplicated rhythms that become so effortless I take them completely for granted.


To drink or wash, my brother and father and I have been carrying buckets of water from an outlet about 300 yards from the cabin. It takes time, it is slow, it is hard work - but it is exactly what I needed. Awareness. It has put balance back into my equation; reminded me of the gorgeous pieces of life that seem so insignificant at first glance.
I poured myself a glass - the sound that water makes is so soothing. Instead of simply drinking.. I held it gently between my palms and stared into the cool blue. watching ice bubbles float to the surface.. watching the tiny crystals dance and swirl like magic.. I began to realize the magnificence of it, the sacredness - it was suddenly extraordinary in a way which I have never known. As if I was looking into the soul of liquid - seeing it for the first time, seeing it with open eyes - fascinated eyes. It was like meeting an intimate friend again.. a friend I had forgotten about entirely.
Its only water.
It is everything; Our desire to find awareness in the simplest parts of our lives. The way we notice each time we take a drink.. the way we notice our steps when we walk.. the way we notice sunshine on our skin.. the way we notice the delicate, and the ordinary, and the unquestioned. There are a thousand blessings each day that I overlook, because I already expect them.

Lose my expectations, lose my cleverness, lose my distracted eyes.
It is only water, until it is gone... then it becomes so much more than that.. it becomes a reason, a pursuit, a thought.





(Andrew Tipton)

Jan. 17

two wild. open bright. eyes shining up at a night sky. I taste colors on my tongue.. sweet bronze strawberry reds. the horizon is clear and cool and full of stars.. do you ever. wish upon? the way darkness cradles them softly, holding their hands. holding them so closely, so intimately and yet giving way to their beautiful brightness. in my dreams I am also in that night sky.. wandering across the sensual seductive face of bewilderment. moving in and among - finding. touching. breathing. you and I. we are beautiful also for an instant.. for the most fleeting of whispers. I speak in whispers. Scream in whispers. Move in whispers. Whisper to me now.. say what I long to hear. Say what the whole world longs to hear. la vie est insupportable. la vie est sauvage. la vie est merveilleuse.



(Andrew Tipton)

silent

Dear sister; daughter of sunlight and all that is alive. You burn inside of me tonight. You who I have never found a place for; never known; never touched.. suddenly you. You shine across my eyes through my tears from beneath the deepest of shadows. Suddenly you. Suddenly a comet through a smoke black sky.. and I do see you. Do call to you in my soul. / my mouth trembles with simplest knowing, only the very edge of your aching spirit. Choking on my own thoughts. What would I say if I could? My consolations falter on my tongue.. My words shatter inside your ears like the broken buildings around you; I watched you cry. More than cry. I watched your heart crumble away; I watched you break into dust. Your screams, your love, your voice swept to the seas. / I close my eyes in a crowded room and imagine you. alone. There is dancing all around me, careless smiles and light hearts.. yet you are still alone; you are empty from warm embrace. My world sways; swirls around me, my body weak and raging.. How many in an instant? How swiftly life comes. How it is lost in eternity in an instant. / I am not one who believes or fears death. And yet I do imagine these things. From your mind.. I do see them so silent and sharp and clearly. Do you sit tonight.. wondering.. like myself? wondering at all we do? Wondering at all we have built and made and clung to? / My sister.. my survivor, my sharer of this earth; for this today. I see you. Stare at you. Am you for this instant. May hope and peaceful rest find you.. wrap itself around your body and cradle you through the night. Soft lullabies to a wounded child.




Andrew Tipton

Our Minds: Personal Ideas

Some of my Personal Ideas for Growing Our Minds:

- Read. All types of books that push us to explore new possibilities; that challenge the way we have been taught to consider life; that ask questions.

- Write. I believe you can only really know what you write down. Write continually, write positively, positive ideas, positive poems, positive questions, observations. This is crucial to growing mentally.

- Introspection. Quietness is hard, and it is powerful. Silence everything for a few minutes a day and come back to the real parts of life that matter to you. Lose yourself in just being alive for that moment.

- Debate. Push yourself to defend of advocate new ideas to friends or enemies. You will be forced to grow especially if you lose.

- Listen. Listen to what people are saying. listen to what we are doing; to everything humanity is about. Listen to yourself speak. You will find a great deal of truth and laughter.

- Play. Grow your mind through playing. Let is wander, let it wonder, let it run free and never call it back until it has exhausted itself. This is my favorite.. and it usually generates some cool new questions.




(Andrew Tipton)

Our Minds

You said it perfectly this morning brother.
"our minds are our home."

My brothers and I have been discussing lately, the sacredness of our own minds... a concept relatively new to me. We have been speaking about the amount of intentional development most humans actually spend on there own brains - be it self-analysis, meditation, discussion, through any means that separates us from our environment for a time, allowing us to grow and breathe mentally.


One of my brothers compares our mind to our body's home - or a place of stability and creation. He drew the analogy of our homes representing our well being in the exterior plane, and our minds representing our well being on the inside. I would consider this a perfect perception. The average person where I live, devotes so much of their time to constructing, preserving and improving their homes - there are complete stores devoted to our exterior wellness, to image and structural stability. We as a culture are infatuated with improving and beautifying the places we live.. we spend billions of dollars each year on upgrades, overhauls and new technology. It is undeniable - we place very high esteem on our exterior well being.
But what about our body's home? What about our minds?.
If our houses are rotting or in need of reconstruction.. we would quickly tear out the diseased ares and make things right.. but do we take the time to clear out our own minds when they become infected with fear, anxiety or depression?
We take great care to lock our homes and keep out anything that would cause us harm... but do we do the same thing for our own minds? Sometimes it seems that we leave ourselves open and vulnerable - easily robbed of our freedom and our potency, by simple words of negativity or ego-attacking phrases. We blindly let garbage enter our minds unchallenged; lies and non-truth that does our hearts great damage.
And what about intentionally adding goodness? Certainly, in our homes we are eager to create a better living environment - but do we ever take the time to intentionally create goodness in our own heads? Imagine the possibilities if we devoted a few minutes a day to positive thoughts, to telling ourselves how amazing we are, or to reading books that stimulate our own powerful thoughts.. Imagine what could happen if we spent time each day, simply confronting the conflicts in our brains - the ones that weigh us down - and eliminating them with truth.


I seldom give my mind the time and effort of other endeavors. But, I am convinced that intentionally pushing ourselves mentally can only lead to stronger, happier, more dimensional lives. I believe that our minds are more powerful than we can imagine. They are the center of our functioning bodies - our fortress, our temple, our place of creativity, our freedom. Treating our minds like we treat our homes will not just change our perception of existence, it might just shape existence itself. Think about it.





(Andrew Tipton)

Falcons in a Thunderstorm

Azul. My body trembles with the crests of Haleiwa waves. The sweetest sensation; like pomegranate juice on my tongue. Swaying between the roots of banyan trees; high above the answers. / I once flew across an enchanted island into a sunrise and disappeared. Beneath light like this.. this shimmering wild; this movement without reason to be. Here is the edge of a summer eclipse, of which we all heard about when we were very young: believe it now. / You and I. We Fly. Between the twists of miracles, the sounds of wings against raindrops.. breathless, calling to one another.. feathers of a torrent. / It is not so much that we escape; never to escape; but to lose ourselves in that which already owns us. / White lynx brothers and sisters; fire dragons of the earth; falcons in flight caught in a thunderstorm; Of Jealousy and Honesty and quiet Stillness. / Sinking through purple clouds and black strikes of lightning, and finding ourselves in the very midst, in the mouth of heaven herself, touching her deepest secrets; seeing life as circles - as perfect raindrops on a dark ocean. / Swim dolphins swim; swim while you can..




(Andrew Tipton)

In Response:

"i think to speculate on how long one lives(or should live) is wrong, not to mention pointless. i used to think dying really old was the way to go, and then there was a time i thought dying young sounded beautiful, too. these days, i think that just waking up every day is a gift, and i'll take it as long as it comes."

- Katy

Twenty Ten

We are only the prayers of a white lynx.. the sounds of a river to the deaf.. we are the tuning of an instrument.. we are only the dreams of woven fabric.. The creation of whispers of leaves, the scent of earth before we are stolen. Run slowly, taste slowly, kiss slowly, touch slowly.. live slowly as to feel everything beautiful and fleeting..because I remember we all die. I remember we all lived at once. Choosing. What it was that was ours. What needed no explanation. The silhouette of our own hearts' deepest smile. Pluck it wildly from the field; from wherever you find it.

Even with my eyes closed I still see flashes of reds and blues - streaks of silver-lined brilliance from the inside of my eyelids. The girl on my right has her back pressed into me, I can feel her breathes as they enter her lungs. My arms are raised, fingers reaching for heaven, chants tremble from my lips, my body sways side to side - fueled by the hypnotic throb of electric bass and drums.. entranced by the sweet gyration of four hundred other sweating animals. This is my beginning - the sacred birth of twenty-ten.

I stand here counting down the final few seconds of 31536000.. and through my thoughts I see the echos of beautiful seconds! How incredible to remember. I see voices screaming lyrics on street corners, I see sunsets from a hammock, I see campfires glimmering under starlight on the bank of a river, I see sailboats, I see sunrises from airplanes, I see laughter. I see friendship, I see lovers swimming in waterfall pools. I see exhaustion, I see anguish. I see seduction, and bravery and wilderness, and pride, and humility, and rebellion, and creation... I see so much pleasure in it all. In every one of these 31536000 seconds. It is life that brings me to my knees in awe, I look up with wide gaping eyes and mouth. The creature of life, the entity, the swirling, spinning, evolving motion that I am a part of. Tonight. Here. I am awake. I am aware. I am bewilderment.
Twenty ten. Twenty ten. Here is another 31536000 seconds.. what will we do? I cannot believe I get to live this long.




(Andrew Tipton)